What does it mean to me, to let go? I’m a control freak, I’m a perfectionist, I scare easily. And yet that’s not who I want to be. I want to let go. At the same time I also tend to trust my gut, listen to my intuitive, I have become impulsive… but I am [...][...]
Archive for the ‘Deep Thoughts’ Category
February 7th, 2010 - 4:44 pm § in Deep Thoughts
Looking out over Santa Barbara
I see palm trees and green spread across the city I see the ocean and smell the salt in the air I can see sailboats and large white rigs dotting the water I hear exotic birds, hiding in the palms, calling to one another I feel the cool breeze and warm sun on my skin But there’s one thing I [..[...]
February 3rd, 2010 - 7:51 am § in Deep Thoughts
Age: A pre-mid-life crisis
I felt old for the first time ever today. I received my new 2010 OBRA membership card in the mail with my upcoming age printed in big black letters: RACING AGE: 27 Gulp. Thank you OBRA, I’m officially going through a pre-mid-life crisis. I’ve been in a strange head space lately, pretty m[...]
January 22nd, 2010 - 10:07 pm § in Deep Thoughts, MTB
Ode to Forest Park
When Brett was killed, I rode my mountain bike in Forest Park. When me and A broke up, I rode my mountain bike in Forest Park. And, now, today, I rode my mountain bike in Forest Park through a few inches of slippery rutted mud on fire lane 5, giggling as I almost went over the edge [...][...]
January 22nd, 2010 - 7:56 am § in Deep Thoughts
On relationships
I guess I have to learn the hard way. We only dated for two months, but I let myself go. I decided for the first time, I wasn’t going to be guarded, I wasn’t going to be careful, I was going to just let myself fall face first into love. And, predictably, I fell face first [...][...]
January 6th, 2010 - 9:48 pm § in Deep Thoughts
Cross Roads
I’ve been struggling to come up with a post to update this thing, other then some racing schedules. I feel utterly overwhelmed. I feel like I dropped all the focus I had way back in the fall and it exploded into a million different pieces, each with it’s own trajectory. When I think abou[...]
December 30th, 2009 - 7:28 pm § in Deep Thoughts
New Years Non Resolutions
OK, OK… they’re really resolutions. I guess. I was going to write a really long wrap up of all the crap that happened over the past year, lessons I’ve learned, yadda yadda, but I’m going to stick to my last post. This is what my novel is. While it might not be factually accur[...]
December 10th, 2009 - 8:32 am § in Deep Thoughts
Year in Review, Part I
I’ll be making a number of posts about this year and my goals for next year and so on. I wouldn’t say I make “new years resolutions”, but rather general thoughts about how I want my year to progress. This has really been a year of firsts. I will make a list: First time I got[...]
PN week one, struggling still
Can old dogs learn new tricks? Everything went really well until…the weekend. Damn! I drank way more than I intended. Two glasses of wine on Friday night, 4 glasses of whisky on Saturday night (groan), and a beer tonight. And I didn’t feel particularly great at anytime, in fact I pretty [...]
Feeling Bipolar: Revelations, PN & PT
Long post alert! Well, half of me feels great. I am on day 5 of Precision Nutrition, and I have had 100% compliance. I think the thing I am most proud of right now is the fact that I have gone out twice to bars and have ordered tea. And it wasn’t even horrible. I wasn’t [...][...]
