Pedaling in circles

Heidi wrote a great post today about showing up to a race and really committing yourself to it, a topic I have written about a few times recently, as I’ve been questioning the nature racing.

I think it’s safe to say that in the first couple of years of cross, I fucking toed that line. I was out for blood. And in the end, when I upgraded and realized I had entered into a realm that I had no business being in, I silently retreated and have sucked ever since. It’s not that I don’t know what to do. I know how to train. I know how to warm up, what to eat, what I need to do to get the job done. The real question I’ve been asking myself this year, though, is: do I really want to do what it takes?

Do I want to kick my own ass, focus, put the time in and devote myself? Or do I want to haphazardly train, decide to race on a whim, not really warm up, and essentially sabotage any chance I have at possibly doing well?

I did find a happy medium that sort of worked for me, this year anyway. More hours in on the bike via commuting out to Camas, and continuing strength training. On race day, showing up early to hang out for a while, getting an actual warm up in, and yet still racing single speed where I don’t have a shot in hell at getting even in the top half of the field. In other words, I race my hardest, put in my best effort and not care about the result. Because when it comes right down to it, I have the most fun at races when I just slowly pick people off. Love it.

This fall was too busy with work and the summer was a bust for training, so that was my happy middle ground. Unfortunately I only successfully executed this tactic once or twice. Last weekend was the State Championship, and my heart was not in it at all, I only showed up because I felt obligated to fill up the women’s single speed category. I essentially spent $25 to ride in circles on a stupidly slippery and hilly course, bitching the whole way. What a fucking attitude!

shot by David Roth

I’m glad I went and supported the cause, but I think my days of showing just to show up are over. Which means my cross season is over. Which means it’s time for all my reflection and goal setting posts! Oh joy, my favorite bloggy time of year!