2009, The Year That Will Live in Infamy, has decided it simply cannot come to a close without a few final fireworks. The last few weeks have been something of a whirlwind, from some seriously stressful and shitty moments to some downright unbelievably amazing days and nights.
I changed my mind about writing up a bunch of “year in review” posts; I’ve realized that my best summary of these past twelve months is in fact my NaNoWriMo novel. While it IS in fact a work of fiction, for the most part it sums up many of the events and most of the emotional turmoil I’ve gone through in a much more elegant and thoughtful way than I could write here. So I’m jumping headlong into the editing process and hope to have it ready for public eyes soon(ish).
So, my other new first to add to the list is bouldering. This weekend N took me to Circuit on Macadam where I attempted to climb up some walls. Given my complete lack of upper body strength, I didn’t get very far, but I did actually have fun, except one point when I actually got to the top and made the mistake of looking down. Since you’re not roped in, the walls aren’t very high, but still. I was proud of myself for not freaking out. I calmly turned around (ok, after I squealed) and descended a bit lower before leaping onto the mats below. I can definitely see how climbing would be a great winter sport and compliment to all the lower-body specific sports I usually do. I can also see how if I went climbing outside I would get to the top and have a serious panic attack. Also considering I just bought all that snowboarding gear and snowshoes, I put a moratorium on buying new sporting gear, at least until I can sell my Redline 
I managed to get into two 2+ hour rides this weekend (Friday and Sunday), both of which reminded me how much I love my bike(s). Although Council Crest reminded me why my knees don’t like hills. I feel at this point like I just have to ride regardless of any pain, because it doesn’t hurt nearly as much as it did a few months ago, and I think in time it will go away with all the ass glute strengthening I’ve been doing. The sad thing is that a 2 hour snail-paced ride wipes me out. I haven’t felt this way since I started riding with Portland Velo back in 2006. It’s downright SAD. Although at the same time kind of nice, because I can just focus on rebuilding my base (although I’m too embarrassed to actually ride with my team right now, and I think I would probably get dropped).
I was thinking about my racing/riding season next year on Sunday as I rode around Gladstone. Road racing still incites a kind of dread in me, I think because I was so dedicated to it and my expectations were so high, that I got completely burned out and now I have a knee jerk/stressed reaction to it. I want to remember why it was fun, and I think I can do this by 1) not taking training so seriously 2) focus on helping teammates, because god knows I won’t be winning any road races any time soon. For some reason when I think about simply racing as a fun part of cycling and being on a team rather than this ultimate culmination of a few months worth of hard work, I actually get excited to ride my bike rather then stressed out I’m not doing enough (yes, I could probably use a sports psychologist, but considering my insurance won’t pay for PT, I’m thinking it won’t pay for that…) I also think I will call my road season over fairly early again to focus on mountain biking, since that’s clearly where my heart lies.
