The course was slick; our tent was set up right at an uphill, off-camber section where many people were wiping out. I was praying for a deluge right before our race. Given that the course was entirely flat, the more technical the weather could make it, the better.
I was nervous before the start, my stomach ready to rebel. Just have a good start, I told myself. The gun went off.
Trying not to barf
And…another mediocre start. I quickly regretted not pre-riding, as I nervous to forge ahead of everyone, just in case they were going slow for a reason. My first lap was by far my slowest, as I nervously edged around every corner.
Once we had spread out a bit and I realized I had nothing to worry about, I began my race. Spot the next person, pass. Stand up and sprint out of every single corner. Wind it up on every straight away. I made it my goal to pass someone on every long straight section. And when there was someone to pass, I almost always did. I felt great. My legs weren’t even complaining as I stood and hammered, even on the last lap.
This race for me was 100% mental. I just kept at it. Go go go. I just kept hammering at myself, you must keep up your speed, must concentrate, must pass, must kill. No breaks. I actually got nervous near the end, that I was doing so well; I was afraid I would not be able to keep with it. Fail. Slow down. Crash. I began to link my self worth and success with just being able to hang on. I decided the race was a metaphor for my life and if I could just keep on the gas, then it would prove something about me. That I can succeed under extreme pressure. That I can compete. That I have what takes. Yes, I really do think about this kind of shit while I’m racing, as crazy as that is.
The fact is, I held on. I kept pushing. I almost caught Lindsay’s wheel on the last lap, but I finally skidded out and crashed on the last lap, near the finish, trying to pass someone. Somehow I lept back onto my bike and stayed in front of the people who were on my wheel, which was the highlight of the race.
I don’t know, and don’t even care how I placed. All I know is that I felt awesome, I stuck with it, and I conquered my head. Can’t ask for much more than that.
hitting the slick, uphill corner
Holy cow it was slick out there! I almost went down about four times!