MTB Rule Number One: There’s no crying on the trail.
This is a rule I have broken many, many times. Crying from crashing, crying from frustration, crying from panic attacks, crying from exhaustion.
I read over my previous post about how I’m so damn pathetic because wa! there’s not enough women’s categories! wa! I am in over my head! I’m busy! I don’t train enough! Boo-freaking-hoo.
The thing about crying on the trail, is that I always stop and repeat that damned rule to myself (and to the person who is staring at my tear-drenched face): There’s no crying on the trail! Man up! Put the man pants back on! This rock will not de-man-pants me! Stop being such a pussy and ride!
It’s just something you must do to survive a tough ride. Once the man pants have been securely re-fastened, I can continue on. I can take the rock, but I have to be willing to risk a crash.
So what’s the deal with all this whining about racing? I don’t want to risk losing. I realize this when I’m just out riding by myself, and I get a little competitive with some dude who can’t believe he just got passed by a chick and decides to re-pass me. I see his shadow, suddenly right behind me. I could kick it up a notch. I could race this fucker up Lincoln and make him wish he never messed with me. But what do I do? Ohhh, I’m trying to warm down…I should just go my paaaace…. It’s like my competitive spirit has gone into hiding, from fear. Fear that I will finally realize just how slow I HAVE gotten. As if, somehow, by putting off racing, I will suddenly become really fast. um yeah.
I need to stop being such a whiny baby and remember what I like about racing. Get some aggression back. Be willing to risk myself. I need to feel strong, regardless of whether or not I win anything (and as an A I definitely won’t be winning anything). Time to stop this madness. There’s no crying on the trail. I think I have my new mantra for cross: PUT ON THE MAN PANTS, it’s time to go to work. yow.
