Kristin Rides

I’ve finally come to terms with something about myself: I am really bad at being on diets. During the week, generally, I have no problems. But as soon as special events (aka going to a bar) crop up, wham! All bets are off. Although, not entirely; generally when I feel like I’m in “diet mode” I consume less and make better choices when I am out on the town.

It really comes down to the fact that I’d rather change my general eating habits and lifestyle and let the weight follow, then get on some crazy diet plan and deny myself going out on the weekends and having fun on occasion. Some people manage to stay on actual, prepackaged diets for however many weeks, denying themselves alcohol and whatever else during that entire period. That just doesn’t work for me. I always start out strong, then slowly fade back to whatever I was doing before. And for a long time I felt guilty about that. Considered myself weak-willed.

Not anymore. I’ve realized with each little “diet” I try, I gain a few tidbits of knowledge, a few new habits, and add them to my arsenal. And gradually I find myself consuming less, and gradually the weight follows. This is a much better and more long-lasting way to lose weight in the long run for sure. The only problem is that now that the end goal is in sight, I’m beginning to think I may need to take drastic measures to lose the final 5lbs. Actual weight-loss tends to follow a change in habits, with the new weight holding steady once those new habits are thoroughly in place. I don’t think just following my current plan will get me there, and I really want to be there before the heavy training starts, because “burning calories” as a workout goal will no longer be on the menu.

But I’m not really sure I want to take drastic measures. But then I really want to see this thing through.

What to do. Such a quandary.

Possible Crash Diets:

Acai Diet: I’ve seen tons and tons of Facebook ads with Oprah’s face and something about Acai berries. I’m not too sure Oprah is a great spokesperson for any diet (the ultimate yo-yo?), but I thought I would look into it.

Acai can be a great weight loss aid. The berry’s incredibly high levels of essential fatty acids, fiber, phytosterols and amino acids work together to help your body burn fat more efficiently, process food more quickly and shed the unwanted pounds that you’d like to lose.

Hm ok, so it’s nutritional and all that, but what’s the plan? Ah: Here it is, the Perricon Promise. “Now, Dr. Perricone reveals a groundbreaking, 28-day program that promises to help readers stay young forever. The secret is Neuropeptides…” Catchy name, 2 words with alliteration, sounds great. I know Neuropeptides have always helped me in the past. Mmmhmm. Although I don’t see much about weight-loss here. Let’s try again.

Acai Berry Boom Antioxidant Diet and Cleanse. Yes, NOW we’re talking. Apparently you can buy Acai in all kinds of forms, like pills and shakes and juices; it’s mysterious (not well-studied), foreign (don’t sell it at Safeway) , AND expensive. Oh joy!

And, to top it off: Vogue magazine calls it the next big workout cocktail.

Celebrity Diets. There are always a goldmine of deprevation. Looks like the big one right now is the 5 Factor Diet. Alicia Keys AND Kanye West are both quoted on the home page! (Kayne West???)

Weight Loss Made Easy…
5-week plan
5 meals a day
5-ingredient meals
25-minute workouts
5 cheat days in 5 weeks

25 minute workouts? Maybe if its 25 minutes of burpees… “Studies show that people who participate in online weight-loss programs lose more weight than those who go it alone.” Mmm studies. Boy it sure SOUNDS easy! Let’s get started today!

The 5-Factor Diet is a revolutionary weight-loss plan based on Harley Pasternak’s scientific research and personal experience.

Wow, he’s even a scientist?

With further investigation, its just your basic low-calorie diet that would make anyone lose weight. In fact, I think I’m already on the diet by accident. Although I admit I enjoy the 5 (perhaps 10 in my case) cheat days.

There’s also the Martha’s Vineyard diet. 21lbs in 21 days it says. So a pound a day? Sounds great, that means I should be able to lose my last 5 in less then a week! All I have to do is: Drink detox juices, walk a mile a day (or jump on a trampoline), and get an anema. …. …. oh. hmmm. nevermind on that one.

Apparently another big juicer is Beyonce, who supposedly did the Master Cleanse. Someone in my office actually did that and DID lose a bunch of weight. And swiftly gained it back. These kinds of extremely low-calorie diets make it virtually impossible to workout, and would certainly result in muscle loss. No thanks.

Conclusion?

Get back on the wagon for the next few weeks, be diligent with my current plan and see if I lose the weight. See it through. If it doesn’t happen, it wasn’t meant to be. Keep weight-lifting. Add in a few new workouts that involve lifting/high intensity circuit training. And call ‘er done.