Kristin Rides

*****WARNING! Long and very pathetic post ahead! ******

(although there is something redeeming at the end of it)

My team met with Russell Cree of Upper Echelon Fitness for a talk about setting up a training plan. The basics of training cycles and training with power and testing and zones; the basic stuff you might find in the Friel books.

But it really made me face myself. Face something that I’ve been thinking about it fits and starts over the last year and is finally coming to a head.

How serious am I?

Part of me wants to go into his studio, have everything tested, and be told, “wow, you could go pro.” If that happened, I would throw myself into it.  I would seriously consider quitting my job to figure out some way to make the dream happen (although how the hell do you afford all this stuff without a full-time job!? Such a paradox to me…) Anyway, that is something I have thought (dreamed) about.

But then…. what if I walked in there, got tested, and told I was average (which is probably what would happen, given that it is an average after all) ? Or even below average? What then?

It pains me to think that you’re either born a pro or not. Obviously tons of people are born athletes and don’t do a damn thing with that natural talent, but how much of it really is genes? You can have the best genes in the world, but if your mental act isn’t together, then you won’t go all the way. So if you’re mental act IS together, you have the best damn training plan in the world, and you work your ass off… what then? Maybe a local cat 1 racer? Maybe race a few big races then… ?

I am extremely competitive. And a perfectionist. And totally afraid of failure. If I can’t win, then I don’t bother trying, and I won’t have any fun. I fully admit this. Hell, I have to try to try. Each of these cross crusade races has simply been a struggle is in getting myself to try a little. Just a bit.

So where is this story headed? The most likely story is that I could continue to climb the ranks of OBRA over the years and just compete in Oregon as I have been and leave it at that. I have to decide where I want to take this, for my own sanity. I have some pretty huge dreams. But dreams they are; right now I have no way to turn them into reality.

The last few days I have been thinking about next year. How I really want to hunker down and train like mad, and see what I’m really made of. But quite frankly, I don’t really know how to find that out. I don’t think I can on my own, and I can’t afford a coach. So… ? Am I content to just be a midpack cat 3 (which is exactly what I’ll be, at this point)?

I always want to be special and feel like I’m somehow better. Of course, everyone does (in studies, 60-70% of people rank themselves in various talents/intelligence as above average.. think about it). I guess I just have to decide how much I really want to throw myself into this. Maybe the weather is just depressing the crap out of me right now, but I feel like I’m at a tipping point. I’m either all in, or all out. I don’t like to half-ass things. But I have to decide… all in for what? What’s the goal? I think my goals (dreams) have been FAR too lofty for my mental sanity. Yes, someone with 1 year of racing under their belt and very little cyclocross skills is going to come out of nowhere and get top 10 in the A field! Um, what? No. No one is born with the ability to dismount/remount/leap over barriers, and you don’t get those skills by wishing and dreaming about them.

I think having testing done and talking to a coach could really help define some realistic goals. God, doesn’t that just sound dreadful? Realistic? Who wants to be that? I want to be AMAZING! I want to ASTOUND! In some ways I felt like going from zero racing experience to cat 3 in one year is pretty amazing, but… then the women’s fields aren’t that deep, so maybe not that amazing? I’m so filled with uncertainty! I need someone to shake me up and say, “K, if you haven’t gone from cat 4 to 1 in OBRA in one season and easily dropped everyone immediately the second you get on a bike, you don’t have the natural gifts necessary to be really good in this sport.” But I always wonder, maybe its just my complete inability to train myself? Arg! So conflicted! I’m feeling very sorry for myself right now, and that’s kinda making me feel like crap. So enough!

Time to get something useful out this meandering and pathetic exercise in self pity.

Realistic and attainable goal time!

First of all, I just started my 8 week challenge. It’s a very interesting and completely patented challenge plan that isn’t available to the general public just yet!… OK, it’s really just that I’m trying to focus on strength training and losing weight, but doesn’t the 8 week challenge sound so much better? I will go into details in a later post as I cement the details during the first week of the challenge.

I want to place top 10 in the GC at Elkhorn in Cat 3. I feel like this goal is a pretty “reaching” goal. This will be tough, although possible. I also want to get testing as to my strengths/weaknesses though over the next few weeks, just in case I hear “omg, that is the WORST race you could ever possibly do…” I will still do it, but I may not make that as big a goal.

I may also make doing some endurance MTB races a goal. but I’m not sure yet, so I will hang onto that.

NEXT STEPS TO REACHING GOALS: Continue 8 week challenge. Get some testing done to determine correct zones and strength/weaknesses. Set up year’s training plan. Get to work! After a break of course. Which will be happening very soooooon. Otherwise I will go very craaaaaazy. It might be too late for that, though